I'm in the middle of moving out of my apartment and back to Logan. My last hope at a job for the immediate present fell through, when Valley Fair amusement park in Shakopee, MN, hired the ME/Electrician spot op position before I received an interview, and filled the audio technician position with a local for the sake of expediency, even after taking the time to interview me.
Anyway. I'm writing about the moving process. It's raining and I'm sitting in Wendy's, hoping that perhaps it might let up (though it doesn't appear that it will) a bit before I return to my endeavors.
Over the years and moves I've accumulated a fair amount of shit. Junk. Crap. I hesitate to throw things away because of some potential future value. I hang on to every little thing, every DC adapter, every piece of electronic junk I might use some day. Tools that are obviously barely functional. Pieces of what anyone else might call garbage that I might one day use to build something.
Well no more. Most of it's in the dumpster already. I'm hoping that perhaps my enforced inertia, my seeming inability to move forward and change my state of being, is somehow connected to this debris of life. Like an emotional and mental anchor, lodging me thoroughly in place.
So by divesting myself of it, of anything not directly connected to my work or my amusements, anything that serves no purpose other than filling a closet, I hope that I cut this seemingly unbreakable tether to the status quo. That I am allowed to rise up like a balloon freed of its ballast,
Can it really make much of a difference? I don't know that I can say, but I know that it's a lot less shit to take back home and store there. I'll be glad to be rid of it. I'll return to logan a few hundred pounds lighter for it, and certainly with less shit to worry about.
I'll keep you posted on whether it affects my inertia.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
For the Audience
A lot of people I have worked with in theatre seem to be about creating worlds for the audience, for immersing the spectator into a brand new world of their creation. For giving those people a chance to suspend their disbelief and lose themselves in the story.
I don't truck with that.
For some reason, I find myself perfectly content to do the theatre for the sake of itself. Sure, I like to see a good house and can draw satisfaction from a crowd that enjoyed the show. But I don't think that's my primary motivation. I guess I view the process as a series of problems to be solved, and I enjoy nothing more than solving them. From the very early stages of the show, everything's somewhat nebulous, but in whatever capacity I'm working on the show (be it as a designer, an electrician, the sound technician or carpenter, whatever) there's a series of problems to be solved. As a designer I have to solve the problem of presenting the world we've come up with to the audience. As a technician I need to solve the more practical issues of implementing what the designers and director have decided needs to be the world of the play. I don't know which I prefer, but I think they both have their merits.
There's something very visceral and real about constructing a world of our own, crafting a reality. If it's a giant blue marble world, fine; I guess I'll be setting up the router for a lot of tile. If it's a deconstructed city, well then let me grab the welder and plasma cutter. I don't have to worry about justifying these things as a technician, leave it up to the director and design team. I've done pretty much everything outside of the costume department in support of one show or another, from building and painting to composing music. Everything I do is in support of what we're building.
This is why I know that I'll be happier if I can find work in theatre, rather than the larger and less well-defined "Entertainment" industry. I know the skills are ultimately the same working as an electrician for a production company that does concerts and corporate events, but the intent is different, and that means all the world.
I don't truck with that.
For some reason, I find myself perfectly content to do the theatre for the sake of itself. Sure, I like to see a good house and can draw satisfaction from a crowd that enjoyed the show. But I don't think that's my primary motivation. I guess I view the process as a series of problems to be solved, and I enjoy nothing more than solving them. From the very early stages of the show, everything's somewhat nebulous, but in whatever capacity I'm working on the show (be it as a designer, an electrician, the sound technician or carpenter, whatever) there's a series of problems to be solved. As a designer I have to solve the problem of presenting the world we've come up with to the audience. As a technician I need to solve the more practical issues of implementing what the designers and director have decided needs to be the world of the play. I don't know which I prefer, but I think they both have their merits.
There's something very visceral and real about constructing a world of our own, crafting a reality. If it's a giant blue marble world, fine; I guess I'll be setting up the router for a lot of tile. If it's a deconstructed city, well then let me grab the welder and plasma cutter. I don't have to worry about justifying these things as a technician, leave it up to the director and design team. I've done pretty much everything outside of the costume department in support of one show or another, from building and painting to composing music. Everything I do is in support of what we're building.
This is why I know that I'll be happier if I can find work in theatre, rather than the larger and less well-defined "Entertainment" industry. I know the skills are ultimately the same working as an electrician for a production company that does concerts and corporate events, but the intent is different, and that means all the world.
Working, or not
I've applied to a lot of places recently, and so far have had no real success.
This is tremendously discouraging. I have, in the past year or so, accepted the fact that I really am good at what I do. I think this is a big step for me. I believe it's natural for people to be self-deprecating, to not really believe in their own abilities. It's hard to accept that you might, in fact, be better at something than most (or all) of the folks around you. I would never claim to be the best, there's always someone better, somewhere.
At the same time though, I know I have an expansive skill set. I do electrics and sound, which isn't that uncommon of a pairing. I know lighting is my strongest suit. I'm fast with the hang and focus, I rarely fail to get the board to do what I want when I'm programming, I'm good at dealing with DMX networks. I know electricity, so I can build props or wire up any sort of practicals. My biggest failing is that I haven't got much experience with the latest generation of lighting consoles, or HOG consoles, but that's just from a lack of exposure. I know if I had a few hours with some of this technology, I could be well on my way to proficiency. It's just a matter of exposure.
I know quite a bit about sound, I know that there's always more to learn, but this is another area I've devoted a lot of time to. I understand the equipment and the theory. Again, not a lot of experience with the latest consoles (digital is getting big) but they're not that far removed from their analog brothers as far as the way they work. Exposure.
I'm a capable carpenter, I know that. Working in the shop isn't my favorite thing, but it's something I've been doing just as long as lighting and sound. I'm comfortable in a shop, familiar with any tools you're likely to run into in theatre. I can weld reasonably well, with the two most common processes. I even know a little bit of scenic painting.
You'd think that would make it relatively easy to find a job. That's not the case. I don't know if this recession means more seasoned professionals are vying for entry level positions or what, but even a minimum wage (well, $0.25 an hour more than that) in the middle of nowhere was flooded with applications. And that's one that included custodial duties.
I don't know what I can do to make myself more attractive as a prospective employee, or how to convince people I would really be a positive choice. I almost envy the actors' audition process. It's an opportunity to immediately and without a doubt demonstrate your abilities. I get a page or two of skills and work experience, and hopefully they call me for a phone interview. What good is a phone interview in determining someone's suitability? Everyone's going to give the same bullshit answers about dedication and passion, right?
It's immensely frustrating and I don't like it, no sir not one bit.
This is tremendously discouraging. I have, in the past year or so, accepted the fact that I really am good at what I do. I think this is a big step for me. I believe it's natural for people to be self-deprecating, to not really believe in their own abilities. It's hard to accept that you might, in fact, be better at something than most (or all) of the folks around you. I would never claim to be the best, there's always someone better, somewhere.
At the same time though, I know I have an expansive skill set. I do electrics and sound, which isn't that uncommon of a pairing. I know lighting is my strongest suit. I'm fast with the hang and focus, I rarely fail to get the board to do what I want when I'm programming, I'm good at dealing with DMX networks. I know electricity, so I can build props or wire up any sort of practicals. My biggest failing is that I haven't got much experience with the latest generation of lighting consoles, or HOG consoles, but that's just from a lack of exposure. I know if I had a few hours with some of this technology, I could be well on my way to proficiency. It's just a matter of exposure.
I know quite a bit about sound, I know that there's always more to learn, but this is another area I've devoted a lot of time to. I understand the equipment and the theory. Again, not a lot of experience with the latest consoles (digital is getting big) but they're not that far removed from their analog brothers as far as the way they work. Exposure.
I'm a capable carpenter, I know that. Working in the shop isn't my favorite thing, but it's something I've been doing just as long as lighting and sound. I'm comfortable in a shop, familiar with any tools you're likely to run into in theatre. I can weld reasonably well, with the two most common processes. I even know a little bit of scenic painting.
You'd think that would make it relatively easy to find a job. That's not the case. I don't know if this recession means more seasoned professionals are vying for entry level positions or what, but even a minimum wage (well, $0.25 an hour more than that) in the middle of nowhere was flooded with applications. And that's one that included custodial duties.
I don't know what I can do to make myself more attractive as a prospective employee, or how to convince people I would really be a positive choice. I almost envy the actors' audition process. It's an opportunity to immediately and without a doubt demonstrate your abilities. I get a page or two of skills and work experience, and hopefully they call me for a phone interview. What good is a phone interview in determining someone's suitability? Everyone's going to give the same bullshit answers about dedication and passion, right?
It's immensely frustrating and I don't like it, no sir not one bit.
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