Working, or not

I've applied to a lot of places recently, and so far have had no real success.

This is tremendously discouraging. I have, in the past year or so, accepted the fact that I really am good at what I do. I think this is a big step for me. I believe it's natural for people to be self-deprecating, to not really believe in their own abilities. It's hard to accept that you might, in fact, be better at something than most (or all) of the folks around you. I would never claim to be the best, there's always someone better, somewhere.

At the same time though, I know I have an expansive skill set. I do electrics and sound, which isn't that uncommon of a pairing. I know lighting is my strongest suit. I'm fast with the hang and focus, I rarely fail to get the board to do what I want when I'm programming, I'm good at dealing with DMX networks. I know electricity, so I can build props or wire up any sort of practicals. My biggest failing is that I haven't got much experience with the latest generation of lighting consoles, or HOG consoles, but that's just from a lack of exposure. I know if I had a few hours with some of this technology, I could be well on my way to proficiency. It's just a matter of exposure.

I know quite a bit about sound, I know that there's always more to learn, but this is another area I've devoted a lot of time to. I understand the equipment and the theory. Again, not a lot of experience with the latest consoles (digital is getting big) but they're not that far removed from their analog brothers as far as the way they work. Exposure.

I'm a capable carpenter, I know that. Working in the shop isn't my favorite thing, but it's something I've been doing just as long as lighting and sound. I'm comfortable in a shop, familiar with any tools you're likely to run into in theatre. I can weld reasonably well, with the two most common processes. I even know a little bit of scenic painting.

You'd think that would make it relatively easy to find a job. That's not the case. I don't know if this recession means more seasoned professionals are vying for entry level positions or what, but even a minimum wage (well, $0.25 an hour more than that) in the middle of nowhere was flooded with applications. And that's one that included custodial duties.

I don't know what I can do to make myself more attractive as a prospective employee, or how to convince people I would really be a positive choice. I almost envy the actors' audition process. It's an opportunity to immediately and without a doubt demonstrate your abilities. I get a page or two of skills and work experience, and hopefully they call me for a phone interview. What good is a phone interview in determining someone's suitability? Everyone's going to give the same bullshit answers about dedication and passion, right?

It's immensely frustrating and I don't like it, no sir not one bit.