I want to lose myself in theatre. I want to leave the stasis of the now. The uncertainty, the boredom, the doubt and the distaste. I want to descend into a maelstrom of activity, a beehive of preparations, of building, lighting, painting, welding, soldering and improvising. There's nothing more appealing than endless hours fighting constraints. Space and time. Pushing against reality to affix in its place one of my own creation.
That's what it's all about, isn't it? Control of our world. Wresting order from chaos, conversely, chaos from order. Imposing the will on the space and time and perceptions of the audience. That's meta. The down and dirty and grittiness of it is the madness of it.
I want to be invested in that. I want to spend all day on it, only to sleep for the briefest of periods to attack the world again the next day.
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I think I only realize now how much you love doing theatre. This post described your love for it thoroughly.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the thought of keeping occupied with productive things rather than being bored and doing useless things—as those only make one think about depressing things, thus rendering one pretty depressed.
Also, fuck your incredibly better vocabulary. >:(
I think theatre is the only thing I can imagine doing for fourteen hours a day six days a week and not getting tired of it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'll start learning dutch then you can pwn me at vocabulary.